Synes-what???

OK, so i has uncovered that I have a neurological condition. A harmless handicap, if that doesn't cause offence.

What is it?

Why, I'm glad you asked... Synesthesia, according to my well founded Internet research, is a neurologically based phenomenon in which stimulation of one sensory or cognitive pathway leads to automatic, involuntary experiences in a second sensory or cognitive pathway.

Basically, from what I'm after getting out of that, it's when one sense overlaps another and causes you to think in a way that isn't what other people would find normal.

There are many different forms of synesthesia, the most common being:

• Grapheme- where letters and numbers are perceived as colours.





• Ordinal Linguistic Personification- where numbers, days of the week and/or months of the year evoke personalities.





• In-Spatial Sequence, or Number form Synesthesia- where numbers, days of the week, months of the year, even time and years elect precise locations in space.

That's the one I have. In-Spatial Sequence. Don't believe me? Think I'm just being crazy??

Fine.

But I'm not. I swear, I only recently found out about this, and before then, I thought that it was normal to think like this. It's logical.

So when I'm thinking about days of the week, I see a circular diagram, with the days going left to right.

When I'm thinking of the months of the year, it's a circle again, but it moves from right to left.

I also see years in a diagram. The 1900's start at the bottom of a line, and it moves all the way up to 1989. Then, after that, The seem to turn a corner and carry on. The break of the millennium even made it into my mental diagram in the form of a red line. Hmm.

OK, it does seem quite difficult to grasp.

Other people with Synesthesia:

• Pharrell Williams (Hip Hop Artist and producer)


• Rollo Armstrong (Member of Faithless)

And here's some facts about Synesthesia:

• Synesthesia is not a disease. If anything, it is a gift, for synesthetes tend to have higher IQs, better memories, and other positive effects.


• Synesthesia is more common among females with a 6:1 ration when compared to males.


• The majority of synesthetes may have subtle mathematical deficiencies, such as lexical-to-digit trans coding or right-left confusion. (I should tell my old maths teacher this- I wasn' t just stupid!)


• Synesthesia is not the result of intense drug use. While those who take psychotropic drugs such as LSD or MDMA may experience synesthetic-like experiences, these experiences are extinguished by the discontinuation of the high and do not persist during sober periods.

Imagine!

Proud to be involved with 'The Mighty Drogs'?

Ok, so here are the basics:

• I'm from Drogheda




• Nearly 3/4 of the population of the town are absolute fanatics about the local football team




• Drogheda United FC have recently won the title of Eircom League champions of Ireland




• We won a great big cup




• My dad is the club's P.R.O

Nobody really seems to notice the link. But yes, my dad is mainly the P.R.O to The Mighty Drogs, but has other jobs, such as marketing, advertising and event management. And recently, all the events that the club is involved with, this newest trophy is likely to make an appearance. So.... yeah. This €80,000 pure silver cup is in fact sitting in the corner of my kitchen. Every day. There's no point in trying to rob it, all you kleptomaniacs reading this, it's too well known!

But the hype about the arrival of the cup in the town has been enormous. And eventually, word got out that the new trophy was in fact sitting in my house. I'm used to it. Before this it was the Setanta cup. Before that it was the FAI cup. I just can't seem to get used to the fans.

I was sitting watching 'That 70's show' a few days ago, when there was a knock on the door. Ugh. Ignore it. I'm too comfortable (I do that a lot). The knocking persisted. Reluctantly, I got up off the sofa to answer the door. A man, and a child who I presumed to be his son, were standing on my doorstep. The man was clutching a camera.

"Eh, hello. Is, um.. your, say, dad here?"
He wasn't. I told him this. But the man did not move.
"Oh, right", he continued, "Well is, eh, the um, cup here?"

He obviously knew he was being somewhat rude. All I could do was stare at him. Not because of his audacity to come to my house to see the cup, but as I was straining my ears so I could still follow the conversations on the television.

Without a word, I stood aside and gestured him in. He and his son followed me into my kitchen, where the cup stood on the kitchen table, where other people would usually place an arrangement of flowers. Both the man and his son got very excited, and started snapping photos instantly. When the initial excitement wore off, the child turned to me.
"You not excited it's in your house?"

Well no, actually. I'm not. The things a nuisance. Sure, it's great for the town that the team won this, and it was a great feat to become overall Ireland champions, but I'm used to it. Football's not really my thing.

This is not the first time that this has happened. Streams of people always arrive at my house to view the various trophies that have been here in the past three years. I'm sick of this. I'm watching 'That 70's show'. I'm watching 'The Panel'. Granted, some are invited, and my friends are all very grateful that they, and their siblings, and their parents, and their parents siblings, can come to see the cups.

And I suppose I do like that I can fulfill the desires of my friends..

Drogheda United's website provides many photos of the 'Drogs on Tour', the sensibly named 'Drog Shop' stands in the middle of the town selling an assortment of hats, scarves, tracksuits, t-shirts, winter jackets- you name it, they sell it!

If you spent ten minutes walking through one of Drogheda's busy shopping centres, 20 quid says more than half of the locals will be wearing some sort of D.U.F.C attire! It's not some sort of money making scheme- people actually want, and love this merchandise.

So, I suppose I should be thankful to have these trophies in my house. It's something to tell the kids! But for now, nah, go away!

'V' is for a Very Controversial Word!

'V'

Finally! The eagerly anticipated arrival of the first solo album from the lead singer of both Tool and A Perfect Circle, Maynard James Keenan, has arrived! This has been one of the most exciting music releases I can remember, since I have only had a intense interest in MJK's music since earlier on this year.

I have been regularly checking Maynard's personal website, PUSCIFER, to make sure I was well informed on the release date, the artwork, and most importantly, the name of the album.

All my anticipation paid off, when I found that it was to be released on November 5th in Europe, and he had finally released the artwork, which, obviously, included the name! I found it hilarious- sure only MJK would both get away with something like this, and have the nerve to do it in the first place!

'V' is for Vagina- because [quote from Maynard James Keenan himself] 'C' for Chinese Democracy was taken!

Brilliant! Fantastic! This really put the cherry on top of the cake..

Now I can look forward to both a musically satisfying CD, with a hint of humour and hilarity!

But who would have expected that people would actually protest and fight against the release of this masterpiece (that's what it is in my eyes) because of the title of the album! OK, I can understand the cringe factor that some people may experience when merely mentioning the title of the album. But there has definately been more controversial album titles than this!

As posted on Maynard's band, TOOL's website-

"Target pulled the record supposedly because of the artwork. Guess I pushed the right buttons. Most other places are carrying it for now. That is until someone's too much time on her hands granny complains. Then they'll fold like the cowards this New World Paranoid Order has turned them into. Wallmart didn't even bother taking the call, so don't look there. They won't stock stickered material."

So all that nonsense aside, I got the album. It been getting mixed reviews, but I have to admit that there are some spine tinglingly good tracks on the 10-track disc. The CD cover is nothing short of hilarious and the artwork on the CD itself (which can be found on PUSCIFER) has the same effect.

V... V...V...

I won't bother- you'd never know who'd give out about it!

Finally, a reliable medicinal procedure?

OK, so its been roughly 17 months since the accident that has pretty much changed my life. Nah, that sounds too serious. Lets just say it's affected everything I've planned to do one way or another. Nothing crazy now, I still have all my limbs, but it has affected my sleep, my social life, my studies..

I suppose I'm gonna have to paint a pretty vivid picture of this- everyone who knows me knows about this so much they're sick of hearing it.

OK, May 20th, 2006 (I only know the date because I've had to write it on so many forms!), beer garden of the local nightclub (concrete ground!). My friend Claire spots me from the far corner, and makes a running jump to me. Sounds fine, does it? Well Claire is 5"11, and I'm 5"1!

ANYWAY, her legs are wrapped around me, and I'm TRYING to stay standing and keep my balance, but eventually we just fell like a pile of bricks.

So the next day, Claire rang me to 'give out' about the gash on her knee she got from falling, and I told her that I couldn't talk as I was waiting for a skull X-Ray. She completely freaked out, almost crying, saying it was all her fault. I was trying to explain that everything was fine and it was just as much my fault, I think she got the message eventually.

The doctor had told me to take a week off school, but after taking one day, I demanded that I return. The grad party was on Tuesday night, and I definitely didn't want to miss it! Halfway into the night, I received an accidental knock to the back of the head, and next thing I know, I'm sitting on a stool in the bathroom with my head in a sink full of water.

So bad idea, yeah? Well, that was it. For a long time. I rarely went out, and when I did, it was in complete sobriety. I couldn't risk having drink in my system if I needed to take painkillers.

UGH!

Halloween day 2006, I arrived at a clinic in Dublin, ready for my scheduled MRI scan. It went well- the people were very nice (apart from the receptionist). The actual scan was really scary, though. Being claustrophobic (as I've said in previous posts), it was very difficult to stay sane in a noisy tube for 30 minutes. When it was over, the doctor handed me a CD with the pictures from my scan in it- how cool. I sat at home for hours staring at these pictures. I thought they were just amazing!

Two months later, I rang my doctor. The scan results were clear. There was absolutely nothing wrong.

WHAT! ARE YOU SERIOUS! I'm sleeping 4 hours a night if I'm lucky, I can't sit in a whole class in school, I'm passing out with the pain- But I'm Fine??

As far as everyone else was concerned, the case was closed. Julie's fine. It must have all been in her head. So I stayed silent, for a while. Did a few homeopathic sessions. They helped, in the short term (like the effects wore off the same day).

I didn't say anything until the Leaving Cert was over, in case I was brushed off as just being stressed. Even then , it was just a constant dash for the painkillers, cradling my head in my hands, lying on my bedroom floor staring at the ceiling, wishing I could sleep.

Jesus, this girl is nuts! No way, I just don't care anymore.

So I'm at a dead end. What is there left? So last week, someone then recommended that I go see the Chinese Remedy doctor in town. Once the paycheck came in, I made an appointment, and I have to say, he really made a good first impression. He was able to tell me what the homeopath told me after a thorough examination, but he did this without even touching my head. I sat there as she scribbled notes down in Chinese, slightly nervous, slightly worried.

So as I lay on the bed (you know, the ones with the hole for your face) looking like a moulting hedgehog, I was unsure that this was suck a good idea. Acupuncture and massages on my neck and back for the next three months? That's fucking expensive! Student discount makes it €45 a session. I don't care, I suppose, if it works- hallelujah!

So I had to buy medicine as well.

Take 8 of these three times a day.

Take 1 bag (of about 50 pellets) three times a day.

Use 3 drops of this massage oil on your neck once a day.

My God! Is this worth it?

Well, that was yesterday. I'm just after waking up after a good nights sleep. I slept all night! AND I haven't had a headache in almost 24 hours. Some people don't actually believe that this procedure has any proof of success, that the diagnosis is completely by chance and that the recovery in all in the persons head. I'm not saying it's a miracle, but I do believe it's medicinal!